Kurt, the Gay Pregnant Seahorse
by GirlInTheMirror121
Summary: Kurt is a gay, pregnant seahorse. These are his adventures with his seahorse boyfriend, Blaine who is very, very confused . Crackfic between me and my best friend, Jade. Read and review. Thank us later.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or Finding Nemo or The Little Mermaid.**

**Note: Just a cracky fic that my best friend Jade and I wrote on Facebook tonight. Kurt is a seahorse. A gay seahorse. Here are his adventures with his adorably stupid seahorse boyfriend, Blaine.**

M: Once upon a time, there was a gay seahorse named Kurt.

J: Kurt was pregnant. See, male seahorses get pregnant.

M: Kurt enjoyed being pregnant. It made him feel more like a girl, and Kurt considered himself to be an honorary girl anyway.

J: A human girl though. Cause of that whole "Male seahorses get pregnant" thing.

M: He'd heard about the humans, from his mermaid friend, Ariel.

J: Kurt thought her hair was great but that the seashell bra was SO last season.

M: He wished he had bigger fins so he could braid her hair and go shopping with her. Alas, his fins were tiny.

J: So, so tiny.

M: He was the palest and scrawniest of all the seahorses. He was, in fact, the littlest seahorse.

J: Except when pregnant. Then he was the biggest.

M: He loved to play with his seahorse friends, like Mercedes and Tina.  
J: And his stupid yet adorable seahorse boyfriend, Blaine.  
M: Blaine was pregnant, too.  
J: Even though it took three weeks and several illustrated books for him to realize.

M: And even though Kurt told him he was pregnant.

J: 5 times.

M: And Kurt even knew who got him pregnant in the first place; she confirmed it.

J: Poor boy was still confused. He kept repeating "But...I'm a male. How can this be?"  
He watched far too much human television.

M: So finally Kurt brought him to the doctor, who confirmed that he was pregnant, and explained to him the ways of life.

J: Blaine pretended to understand, though he was still slightly confused.  
The doctor had used too many big words.

M: Kurt sighed. At least Blaine was the cutest of all of the seahorses.

J: Kurt figured Blaine had at least another thirty years before his looks faded and he had to learn.

M: Kurt was deprived, though. He did not like female seahorses, so he could not release his sexual urges.

J: Blaine was no help. The boy sometimes swam backward.

M: He was constantly swimming into the anemone and getting tangled up in seaweed. It was always Kurt's job to rescue him.

J: One time, Blaine got swallowed by a fish. He swam in its mouth.

M: Kurt had to bargain with the fish to release Blaine. It wasn't easy.  
J: The fish wanted seasons 4-18 of Oprah on DVD.  
M: Or maybe he wanted a root-beer float. Kurt wasn't good at speaking that fish's language.

J: So he brought it all.

M: Luckily, the fish accepted both things, and released Blaine.

J: All Blaine said upon being released was "It was dark". After that, he refused to talk about it.

M: It gave him the willies just thinking about it.

J: Blaine didn't like to talk about stuff.

M: Blaine didn't talk much at all, really.

J: He said it hurt his head.

M: Talking required thinking and Blaine didn't like thinking.

J: Thinking was hard.

M: Blaine didn't like hard things. Like thinking. And swimming.

J: He didn't know what "Giving birth" was, but it sounded hard.

M: He didn't even know what was in his pouch anyway.

J: The doctor had called it a "fetus"  
He didn't know what the hell a fetus was.

M: Kurt told him bluntly that they were eggs. Blaine didn't know what eggs were, either.

J: He thought they were a breakfast item.

M: Or maybe breasts. He always got those two things mixed up.

J: They were pretty much the same thing anyway.  
M: They were both round. And Blaine found shapes confusing anyway.

J: Too many things had the same shape.  
M: Blaine had once tried to fit a square into a circle. It didn't work.

J: That square taunted him.

M: One day, Blaine went into labor.

J: He had no idea what was happening.

M: Next thing he knew, baby seahorses were swimming out of his pouch. Kurt laughed.

J: Blaine couldn't see what was so funny.

M: Even after Kurt explained that they were his babies.

J: Blaine decided he liked babies, though.

M: But something snapped in Blaine that day.

J: That lightbulb in his tiny brain turned on.

M: And Blaine the confused seahorse was never confused again.

J: He and Kurt lived happily ever after.

THE END!


End file.
